Who's On First?

Justin: “You hungry?"
Me: "Are you hungry, Honey?"
Justin: "Yes"
Me: "What do you want to eat?"
Justin: "Hungry!"
Me: "Yes, Honey. I know you're hungry. What do you want to eat?"
Justin: "Eat, please!"
Me (modeling): "Okay. Say, I want..."
Justin: "I want..."
Me: "What?"
Justin: "What"
Me (frustrated): "Justin, what do you want to eat?"
Justin: "I want hungry. Okay? Thank you."

Such is the life with an echolaic child.

Echolalia.

It's one of those words that most people don't know, until it affects their child. That and the word "perseverate" (the act of fixating on something or repeatedly engaging in a behavior) should be certified code words for, “Yes I have a child on the autism spectrum and, yes, I drink a lot.”

Because echolalia and perseverative behaviors can really drive a parent over the edge like few other things can. Especially when these behaviors occur in concert.

Example:
Justin: "Look, a dinosaur"
Me: “Yes, Honey. That is a dinosaur"
Justin: "Look a dinosaur"
Me: “Hmm-mm, I see it."
Justin: “Look, a dinosaur."
Me: "Okay, Justin, let's talk about something else okay?"
Pause
Justin (whispering): "A dinosaur."
Me to my husband: "Do we have any wine left?"

Obviously, speech issues in our household are a big deal. In the two years that Justin has been receiving speech therapy, he's pretty much only gaining about 6 months for every year.

Not the language explosion we've all been wishing for.

For whatever reason, it's just not clicking for him.

When people ask, I describe Justin's speech abilities as similar to an American taking a class in Japanese 101. After some time they will learn some simple rote phrases and will understand some basic questions and requests. But take that same American and plop them down in the middle of a busy street in Tokyo and they'd probably be lost. The people would talk too fast, they may talk slang, they may be doing one thing but talking about something completely unrelated, rendering the American completely and utterly lost.

This is Justin.

Lost in translation.

The irony is that when it comes to where Justin is on the autism spectrum, his symptoms are mild. He has no real fears or phobias...the exception being he doesn’t really want to eat any food that isn’t a french fry or chicken nugget.

Oh yes, food phobias abound, but that is really about it.

As far as sensory issues go, they are few and far between. He will still cover his ears to certain "unpleasant" (not necessarily loud) noises and he also insists on watching certain unfamiliar shows/movies on TV from the side. As in, hiding to the side of the TV in case the visual picture proves to be just a little too much, he can turn away quickly.

Honestly, so many of the "red flags" that put him on the spectrum in the first place have really dissipated since that time of his initial diagnosis two years ago.

Except speech.

Watching Justin's speech progress has been like watching a tree grow. Excruciatingly and, at times, heartbreakingly slow.

I really don't have any smart or funny way to end this post. Sorry, I’m just not feeling too pithy today.

The fact of the matter is that I'm really fucking worried about Justin's language skills. The leaps, when they happen, are wonderful, but the plateaus last too damn long.

I often find myself, Googling the words "speech delay", desperate to hear stories of people whose speech was severely delayed as children and still managed to grow up as fully functioning adults. This has really been the only thing that has given me hope that Justin will get to where he needs to be. I always say to myself, if it can happen for some, it can happen for him.

I do sometimes wonder if there is more that we could be doing for him, but with him receiving speech therapy nearly everyday in school, I find it hard to subject him to more therapy when he comes home. The bottom line is, he is still a little boy and he deserves some sense of normalcy.

Hopefully, with him being back at school, we'll start to see some more progress soon.

For now, I just dream of the day when I will pick him up at the end of the day and be able to ask him, "What did you do today?" and have him actually answer me.

But, I have no delusions that this day will be here anytime soon.

So, until then, I will try to “enjoy” talking about "dinosaurs". After all, I have no doubt there will be plenty more in our future.