Did you ever have one of those nights...

...When you were sick as a dog with a cold and all you wanted to do was take a mega dose of Nyquil and go to bed early.

But then your son wakes up at 1:30 AM crying (which is unusual for him), so you run upstairs thinking, "Great. He must be sick with my cold."

So then, you find him sitting up in bed crying hysterically and without thinking (and without turning the lights on) you pick him up out of bed and place him on your hip.

But when you feel the warm "splat" against your nightgown, you realize that he doesn't have a cold, he has diarrhea, which has soaked through his pajamas and is quickly soaking through your nightgown.

So then you strip your hysterical child and place him on the toilet and pray he doesn't make a bigger mess while you run downstairs and wake your soundly sleeping husband to let him know you need reinforcements.

So then you quickly change out of your nightgown, hastily washing it in the sink (and it's 1:30 AM and although your awake you're barely coherent), while your husband goes upstairs to assess the damage in the bedroom.

And then you think, how the hell are you going to clean this child since you have stopped buying wet wipes since he's been potty trained (and you can hear the "potty training gods" snicker).

So you grab the first thing you can find which is paper towels and run back upstairs to your still hysterical child, all the while marveling at his older brother's ability to sleep through absolutely anything.

So then, you're back with hysterical child and realize that given the mess it is really easier to simply throw the pajamas out than try to wash them, which is a problem since these are his 2nd favorite pair of Elmo pajamas. Meanwhile your husband has stripped the bed and your older son is still blissfully asleep.

So then you clean hysterical child with wet paper towels, knowing full well that this would probably be much quicker if you just threw him in the shower to clean him up but know damn well that this would only push him completely over the edge so you use up half a roll trying to clean up his bum and "bits".

So now, he's clean, but still not happy because now he's naked and looking for Elmo pajamas. So you make the executive decision to trek down to the laundry room in the cold basement to find his 1st favorite pair of Elmo pajamas, which are stained with peanut butter, but given the alternative they will do just fine.

So then you get him dressed and your husband takes him downstairs to calm him down, while you spot check the 30 some odd stuffed animals on his bed to make sure that none of them were casualties of this nocturnal explosion because that would be a BIG problem (luckily they all got the all clear).

So then you go downstairs to join your husband who said he'd stay awake with now calm but wide-awake child, so that you could go back to bed. But then he's asleep within 10 minutes which really doesn't matter since said child really only wants to be on your lap, where he mercifully falls asleep 10 minutes later.

And it's now 2:00 in the morning and you have to be up in 4 hours to get ready for your new job. And you're really fucking sick with a miserable cold and the Nyquil has worn off.

So, um, yeah.

Did you ever have one of those nights?